How to Deal With Swearing: When Customers Cross the Line
There’s no shortage of challenges when dealing with customers—they can be demanding, condescending, and sometimes just outright jerks. There are a lot of great skills for dealing these difficult customer behaviours, but it when they begin to use rude language, things change.
I’m not, of course, talking about that rare bad word that slips out of our mouths. I suspect that most of us have been guilty of that at least once. But when swearing becomes forceful or persistent, it crosses a line that is fairly easy to recognize. What should you do? Just accept it? Call them out on it? Swear back? The answer really depends on why they started swearing in the first place.
Why do customers swear?
There are four common reasons for a customer using inappropriate language:
- Out of frustration or anger
- Because it’s part of their normal speech pattern
- For effect or attention
- To intimidate or establish dominance
The first usually stems from the situation (and, equally likely, something you’ve said or done). The second is often just a subconscious habit—it’s just the way they talk. These are the most common reasons, and can be overcome by establishing Trust. The final two are bullying tactics.
Try these two steps:
The most effective approach has two steps:
1. Give them a do-over
Start with the assumption that it is something subconscious—a slip, or you having unintentionally pushed their buttons. It never hurts to give someone a second chance.
For example, you might say:
“Mr. Smith, I really do want to resolve this issue, and I completely understand your frustration. But when you use that kind of language, it makes it hard for me to focus. Can we take a fresh start at this?”
The reason this works is because it is framed in context of the customer’s best interests. You aren’t scolding them, but instead reinforcing that you want to create a positive outcome. It’s a technique that works more often than it fails.
2. Leave the conversation
If the swearing continues, and there is no sign it will stop, the only real solution is being firm and unequivocal, with something like:
“Mr. Smith, I think we’ll need to revisit this when we can approach it more civilly. I will be happy to help then.”
That said, simply end the conversation—whether that means walking away or hanging up the phone. No apologies, no backtracking. It is not an easy thing to do, but let’s be honest: very few of us are paid enough to tolerate that level of disrespect.
