How to Deal With an Internal Customer
Time Vampire
You have, no doubt, encountered at least one time vampire in your life. These are the people who seem intent on taking up as much of your time as possible – oblivious to your subtle hints about how busy you are. They can be found in the workplace and in everyday life. Here are two of the most common types of internal customer vampires – and what you can do about them:
Coworker Time Vampires
These time vampires are the coworkers who randomly stroll into your office, sit down and makes themselves at home. In non-office environments, they are the people who insist on standing or strolling beside you while you try to work, regaling you with stuff about which you really don’t want to be regaled.
They aren't bad people - just oblivous
To be fair, as people go, time vampires are typically pretty decent and caring individuals. Social interaction is a priority for them, and they assume it’s the same for you. Unfortunately, they’re also just completely oblivious of the negative impact their behaviour is having on their colleagues and the workplace.
So, given their good intentions, it’s probably not a good idea to listen to your internal voice and start yelling, “Go away! Leave me alone!” You’re better off trying a more gentle, productive way.
Here are a few things people have shared with me that you might want to try:
Keep stuff on your visitor’s chairs
Keep a few books and papers neatly stacked on the office visitor’s chair. It discourages people from sitting down, which will decrease the length of the visit.
Gently throw them out
Look at them with a big smile and say, “I hate to do this, but I’ve gotta throw you out. If I don’t get this done right away, I’m in deep you-know-what.”
Find topics they don’t like
If they’re squeamish, tell them the details of the operation you had last year.
Go to the bathroom
I had to laugh at this one. I’ve never tried it, but was told that it works. Just excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. (Hopefully they won’t follow you) Stay there for an extended amount of time. Even the most dogged time vampires will lose their resolve after sitting alone in someone’s office for 15 minutes.
I’ve been told that each of these are effective, and have tried a few with success.
Important note: If you begin to notice people frequently leaving to go to the washroom while you’re visiting in their office. . . well. . . you know. . .
Indirect coworker time vampires
These are the people outside your department that you interact with in a more traditional customer-coworker relationship – like an HR administrator may have with an employee, or a maintenance worker may have with the person whose office they’re in.
They crave connection
In one of our training courses, an IT engineer told me about a company bookkeeper who called 3-4 times a week about random security concerns, internet best practices and other assorted minutia. “She is a really nice person,” he told me, “but its awkward. Often, the issue has ‘disappeared’ by the time I show up, but once I’m there it’s difficult to leave without appearing rude.”
As may be obvious, these are also not bad people – just folks who are a little lonely, and craving a friendly face. In many ways, it’s a testimony to your customer service skills that these individuals see you as someone with whom they feel a connection.
Distancing yourself is the worst approach
It’s unfortunate, but the most common strategy people seem to use with these types of time-vampires is to try and distance themselves. They try to avoid these customers as much as possible – and when they do have an interaction, they rush through it, minimizing conversation. It’s understandable, but there couldn’t be a worse approach.
Try confiding in them
These are customers who are desperate for interaction, and would like to think of you as a friend. Getting the cold shoulder from a friend, however tenuous the connection, will only add to their loneliness. Although avoiding customer time vampires might seem the easiest way to deal with them, it isn’t the kindest. The best solution I’ve seen is not to diminish the connection with the customer, but to build on it.
